From newborn to 4 years old, this article covers all of the sleep progressions you can plan for and strategies to help your child adjust as they grow up. Still, have an infant that won't sleep through the night? This article (and podcast) covers that too! Get your sleep back momma!
Here you will get actionable tips and strategies for helping you get your full night sleep back if you have a child who is still waking up in the middle of the night, long after they should be snoozing on their own. To be taken to the article about how to have successful sleep routines while traveling, check out this article.
Topics covered in this article:
For this episode on the Wander Mom Diaries Podcast, I interviewed Aubrey. She is currently a stay-at-home mom with three boys ages eight, five, and two. She has her Master's in social work and worked as a psychotherapist, for children, teens, adults, and then as a school social worker. Click the image below to be taken to the podcast episode!
Aubrey became interested in setting up a routine for her children and was active in social media and eventually was trained by a baby sleep coach named Batya and continued to support families with sleep issues.
“Is there a special sleep formula that you can share?” I ask.
“It’s funny you asked that. I get asked that all the time in that sleep group, they're always wanting a magic formula, they want an answer, and I always have to tell them, you know, there is no magic formula. It's not magic. It's not going to happen instantaneously, that's for sure. So the work that I might suggest to them. You have to put in the effort consistently and you will see the payoff. It's just you have to make a commitment, you know, to change what you're doing and you will see that it will work”. - Aubrey
Sleep strategies and schedule for a newborn
It really is helpful to start from day one, even in the hospital, turning off lights when the baby is supposed to be sleeping and turning on the lights when they are supposed to be awake so they automatically start understanding what day is and what night is.
It's really about light versus dark. But at this age, there should be dark during the day during sleep times as well.
Sound machines are extremely helpful, when used consistently, they can help your child know when to sleep and when to get up for years to come.
With a newborn, you would want to start with an awake time of about 45 minutes between about three to four daytime naps (the day is considered 7am to 7pm).
Once they're about four weeks old, you want about an hour of awake time between about three naps and during the day.
Every week, try to encourage your baby to stay awake for 15 more minutes in between naps so that by eight weeks there are about two hours of awake time between three naps.
Sleep schedule for 3-month-old and 4 month old
Shorten that first nap to be only about 45 to an hour. The midday nap, usually around lunchtime, is usually a good two to three hours. And then the catnap in the evening is usually around 4 or 4:30. And that's only about 30 minutes.
You have to take the reins, you wake them up, you help them back to sleep, and consistently try to stick to that schedule. There can be about 15 minutes of flexibility if they wake up early or fall asleep early, but no more than that. Once you get longer than 15 past the flexibility mark, they will start to adjust to a new and different schedule, and you don’t want to lose the foundation you just made with them.
Sleep Schedule for 6 Months
Around six months, that's when you're gonna start to see there might be ready for two naps. So then the awake time stretches a little bit more to accommodate just the two naps.
This looks like two and a half hours of awake time with the first nap only 45 minutes. The second nap is around 2 or 2 ½ hours.
12 Month Sleep schedule
Same as the six months at 12 months where there's a regression and they need less sleep. You can adjust to this by putting them to bed about 15 minutes later. So if their wake is 7 am, their bedtime is 7:15.
Sleep schedule for 15 months
Your baby is ready for just one nap around 15 months, that's when they're ready for just one nap. That one nap would be around 1115. To start. That's what a 7 am bedtime can be early for a little while more like 630 versus 715 as their body adjusts, and then you can push their bedtime later.
Whenever you want to adjust the schedule either forward or backward, you push everything by about 15 minutes every two to three days.
Sleep Schedules for toddlers
From 18 months to 21 months, you're going to push the schedule of that nap about 15 minutes later. So it started at 11:15 at 15 months, then it's going to 11:30 at 18 months then to 11:45 at 21 months, and then it's going to go to 12 by 24 months.
This nap is still about two hours long you're just moving the timing of it later in the day and therefore bedtime also adjusts, so that bedtime is around 8 pm at 24 months and that's where it's gonna stay until about four years old.
How to handle nap time when your child goes to daycare.
The best way to do it is to just let daycare do what they're doing because it's really hard to fight daycare and try to get them to do what you want. So keep the morning and the bedtime, exactly, as mentioned above let daycare do whatever they're doing naps.
If you have a child going to daycare, the important thing is you're still doing the same schedule during the weekend. Your child’s sleep schedule should not change, it needs to stay the same whether it’s a Tuesday or a Sunday.
My child is still waking up middle of the night, multiple times a night!
The first step is the schedule and the sleep environment (see this blog post for that information).
Sleep Independence
Once you have a good sleep schedule plan, start applying that immediately and the step after that is called sleep independence, teaching how to sleep independently.
The sleep expert suggests the first way that you work on sleep independence is starting at bedtime, and night, (leave naps alone, for now, save your energy for the bedtime and nighttime routines).
If the child is still eating in the middle of the night, pick a couple of set feeding times, or one set feeding time depending on how old the baby is.
Generally, a baby can go as long at night as they can during the day. So if they're going three hours between feedings in the day, they can at night.
If they wake up before time, you do not feed them. Try something else and don't take them
out of their crib. Rubbing their back, you're patting their bottom, you can give them their pacifier back, anything to show that you’re there and your comforting, but you’re not feeding or taking them out of the crib, otherwise, that is what they will learn to expect and you‘re trying to get away from that. The exception would be if they had a bowel movement, then you would want to change that.
After about three days of this, then you move a little bit further away from them. So you're not touching them anymore, but you're nearby. It could take over an hour of this comforting at a distance, but you're there and you're supporting them. It's okay, if they're crying, you can go give them back their pacifier real quick, and then move back away from them, but don't comfort them in any other way.
After a couple more days, move a little bit further away only getting close if you must (to give them their pacifier back for example). Keep moving further and further away every few days until you’re out the door. If they continue to cry, they are on their own and you let them cry, but by then they generally have picked up on what you’re doing and don’t cry for very long.
Weaning nighttime feedings
If you are still feeding during the night, then you continue to push the feedings later and later by about 15 minutes every few days until it is pushed all the way until morning.
And then do they eventually able to go longer without feeding after that. This is where it is helpful for a father figure or someone who does not usually feed them to go in during the non-feeding times. It helps with the children's understanding that it is not time to eat.
Additional links and resources
Safe sleep and baby care- evidence based support Fb page
https://www.facebook.com/groups/safesleepbabycare/?ref=share
Batya the baby coach
http://batyathebabycoach.com/are-you-ready-to-sleep/
Batya’s free sleep guide
https://s3-us-west-2.amazonaws.com/newpdfswithbookaca/DontCryItOut.pdf
Batya’s ultimate baby sleep group
https://www.facebook.com/groups/TheUltimateBabySleepGroup/
Batya’s YouTube channel
https://m.youtube.com/channel/UCD8GDHBmJTVBV4ZiRomdr1g
Thanks for taking the time to read this article on the Wander Mom Diaries! If you're enjoying the blog (or the podcast), then I would love it if you could tell one other person about it. It's super easy to discover. We are all here to help each other. So if you're a fellow wonder mom who would like to share your story on the podcast, reach out in the DMS on Instagram at Wander Mom Diaries or you can email me at wandermomdiaries@gmail.com I would absolutely love to hear your story.
Comments